So today my good friend Melissa has me thinking. She is getting a liver biopsy so I am thinking of her and praying everything goes well. But also thinking a lot about what she has been talking to me about. It has made me realize how impatient I am about things in my life. Maybe I need to slow down and take things one day at a time instead of planning my next 1o years out. I know that it's good to have goals, but I think I may dramatize this. Like our bathroom needing to get done. It really didn't all have to get done right away. But I needed to get it all done right now.
Well then I start thinking about us having a family, a baby, everything we want. We have wanted kids since we have been together. We have known that we would start trying right away. I guess when I say that I forget about "Kyle's Timeline". He had a timeline set up for our relationship. We would date, then after about a year of dating we would move in together, then after 2 years of living together we would get engaged, we would have a 2 year engagement, then get married, we would be married for 3 years before we started to have a family. This would make me 32 when we started to make a family! He was crazy...just imaging, we would just now be living together. We wouldn't be engaged, definitely not married, and for sure not trying to start a family.
This just makes me laugh when I look at where we were a year ago...I've always wanted kids, it's never been a doubt at all. When I was married to Matt I always wanted a family. I could have gone off of birth control and he would never have known, but that's obviously not me. I think something deep down made me realize that I didn't want to have kids with Matt. When I met Kyle we talked about having kids on our first date. It was something that was very important to me and to him. And that meant the world to me.
I guess I expected that as soon as we got married we would start trying...which we have been doing since well shortly before we got married. I know I know...wrong, immoral, sinful. Anyway...I guess I expected that we would get pregnant right away. Well we obviously aren't as of right now...that I know of anyway. So my typical impatience is getting to me saying...why aren't we getting pregnant? Well there could be lots of reasons...God has decided that we aren't ready yet and maybe we won't be ready ever...maybe God doesn't intend for us to have our own children, maybe he has different plans for us. I have never been a very big "God has a plan" person, until recently.
Which all makes me feel so bad for our friends that have been trying for years so I ask that anyone that reads this pray for them to have what God has intended and to hope that that will include them getting pregnant.
Love all!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Oh what a night
Ha you probably thought this was going to be some blog about having sex or something...nope.
So last night Kyle and I were talking about our life and where it's taken us and where we have been. I have come to the realization that I am so used to my "typical" life that when anything is different I have a very hard time adjusting to it. I was so used to Matt having his normal job at Mercury with a normal paycheck every two weeks. I was used to my parents going to work for 40 hours a week and getting paid every two weeks. This was the way I was raised to believe that was normal.
Then Kyle resigns from his position at KASL...resigns sounds so much better than quit doesn't it? For the first few days it wasn't bad, actually I was quite relieved to have him done with the business. It caused a great deal of unneeded stress. Mostly from his business partner, Andrew. This was a constant issue for us because Andrew caused so much stress about things that didn't need to be streesed over. So then we weren't hearing Kyle's phone ring at all hours of the night because no one was calling him...no one was breaking stuff and then telling Kyle to fix it. It was great. But then the bills piled up and we needed to pay for them...this is when the tough part started.
I tend to be a negative person in life, so when there were bills to pay and no money come in on a regular basis I start getting stressed and worried and everything changing from what I'm used to making me uncomfortable. Kyle was bringing money into the house. He was doing computer repair for people. It just wasn't consistent, but he's been bringing in just as much money as when he had a steady regular job. It's taken me this long to realize it, but he was working. The bad wife that I am kept saying you need to get a job, you need to bring a paycheck home. When all along he had been. I was so upset when I finally realized this. It had been a month of me criticizing him about it. I can't make up for it because it's already done, but I am going to make sure I keep this in mind in the future. He is my life and I can't imagine not having him next to me.
So our communication skills got put to good use last night when we were "talking" about this. That usually leads to tears because I feel so bad about things. But it always ends with an apology from both of us, a hug, a kiss, and an I love you. Our marriage gets stronger every day and nothing will ever break it.
Love today, live today.
Jilian
So last night Kyle and I were talking about our life and where it's taken us and where we have been. I have come to the realization that I am so used to my "typical" life that when anything is different I have a very hard time adjusting to it. I was so used to Matt having his normal job at Mercury with a normal paycheck every two weeks. I was used to my parents going to work for 40 hours a week and getting paid every two weeks. This was the way I was raised to believe that was normal.
Then Kyle resigns from his position at KASL...resigns sounds so much better than quit doesn't it? For the first few days it wasn't bad, actually I was quite relieved to have him done with the business. It caused a great deal of unneeded stress. Mostly from his business partner, Andrew. This was a constant issue for us because Andrew caused so much stress about things that didn't need to be streesed over. So then we weren't hearing Kyle's phone ring at all hours of the night because no one was calling him...no one was breaking stuff and then telling Kyle to fix it. It was great. But then the bills piled up and we needed to pay for them...this is when the tough part started.
I tend to be a negative person in life, so when there were bills to pay and no money come in on a regular basis I start getting stressed and worried and everything changing from what I'm used to making me uncomfortable. Kyle was bringing money into the house. He was doing computer repair for people. It just wasn't consistent, but he's been bringing in just as much money as when he had a steady regular job. It's taken me this long to realize it, but he was working. The bad wife that I am kept saying you need to get a job, you need to bring a paycheck home. When all along he had been. I was so upset when I finally realized this. It had been a month of me criticizing him about it. I can't make up for it because it's already done, but I am going to make sure I keep this in mind in the future. He is my life and I can't imagine not having him next to me.
So our communication skills got put to good use last night when we were "talking" about this. That usually leads to tears because I feel so bad about things. But it always ends with an apology from both of us, a hug, a kiss, and an I love you. Our marriage gets stronger every day and nothing will ever break it.
Love today, live today.
Jilian
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Ahh what a day
Wow so you would think that after being back to work for day 2 that I would be back in the routine of things...not so much.
Maybe it was because my boss wasn't there and I needed her to make me focus. I don't know, but my mind wasn't there...it wasn't really anywhere. Then to top it all off I got sick at work. I must have been the slimfast I had for breakfast cause it didn't want to stay in. I started feeling better later in the day though.
We were having the White's over for dinner tonight and everytime we get together we plan something and we never actually end up doing what we plan. We always do something else. But tonight we actually ate dinner, and sat down and watched a movie. It was Yes Man, a very good funny movie. One that might actually be a somewhat family movie.
I have decided that I am really old. My baby sister has a boyfriend and not just any boyfriend, but one that is 2 years older than her. One that she can actually go out on a date with. Makes me realize how quickly her and Baker are growing up. I was looking through pictures last night and saw pictures of when they were younger...aka last year. It makes me so proud of them to see what they have accomplished and what they have gotten through. They have lost a grandpa, a brother in law, an uncle, and a good friend and still make it through. It's so sad to imagine what my family has been through. But it's great to know that no matterwhat my family comes together in the time of need.
My most recent issue is fertility. Well not so much fertility but the decision for Kyle and I to be parents. We both know that we want a family and see no reason to wait. Everyone says that you will never be ready financially and we don't plan on letting that affect us. We know that we are ready and that's what matters. We aren't gonna split up, we are together forever...through everything. So I just want everyone to know that a baby is going to be coming as soon as God allows and to be prepared...i.e. mom. :)
Heading to bed for the night but it will be a good night of sleeping in a little bit.
Peace, love, and harmony!
Jilian
Maybe it was because my boss wasn't there and I needed her to make me focus. I don't know, but my mind wasn't there...it wasn't really anywhere. Then to top it all off I got sick at work. I must have been the slimfast I had for breakfast cause it didn't want to stay in. I started feeling better later in the day though.
We were having the White's over for dinner tonight and everytime we get together we plan something and we never actually end up doing what we plan. We always do something else. But tonight we actually ate dinner, and sat down and watched a movie. It was Yes Man, a very good funny movie. One that might actually be a somewhat family movie.
I have decided that I am really old. My baby sister has a boyfriend and not just any boyfriend, but one that is 2 years older than her. One that she can actually go out on a date with. Makes me realize how quickly her and Baker are growing up. I was looking through pictures last night and saw pictures of when they were younger...aka last year. It makes me so proud of them to see what they have accomplished and what they have gotten through. They have lost a grandpa, a brother in law, an uncle, and a good friend and still make it through. It's so sad to imagine what my family has been through. But it's great to know that no matterwhat my family comes together in the time of need.
My most recent issue is fertility. Well not so much fertility but the decision for Kyle and I to be parents. We both know that we want a family and see no reason to wait. Everyone says that you will never be ready financially and we don't plan on letting that affect us. We know that we are ready and that's what matters. We aren't gonna split up, we are together forever...through everything. So I just want everyone to know that a baby is going to be coming as soon as God allows and to be prepared...i.e. mom. :)
Heading to bed for the night but it will be a good night of sleeping in a little bit.
Peace, love, and harmony!
Jilian
Monday, April 6, 2009
Husband Trust
So earlier I said something about trusting that my house would be taken care of and cleaned by my husband...ha I should have known better. He kind of cleaned up the downstairs and didn't do anything else. Go figure...please note that I am smiling and laughing inside about this.
So instead he went and test drove 3 vehicles...no he still doesn't have a job.
He went to the courthouse to get his birth certificate and something else.
Then "on his way home" from the courthouse he stopped by Adams. I keep having to tell him that it's not on his way home if he has to go an extra 10 miles out of his way.
I really can't wait for him to get a job and back on a payroll. But in all honesty I have to admit that I like having him around more and not so stressed. But there are these lovely things called bills that have to get paid so he needs to get back to work.
We have Schmoe and Sean over watching the sadness that is the final game of the NCAA games. It's nice because Schmoe hasn't been here before and it's nice having him around. Back to work tomorrow for a 9-6 shift then the White's over for dinner. Apparently we just can't get enough of them!
Easter is this weekend and it's gonna be a busy weekend. Friday we have dinner at the Hodge's house for Good Friday. Saturday we are having my in laws over...mom, Lonnie, Monica, and Jon. It should be fun, even though I have to work till 6, but Kyle will have it under control. Then Sunday it's up and out to church at Aunt Pat's church with Mom Uribe and then out to my mom's. Lots of travel!
Well good night and farwell until tomorrow!
So instead he went and test drove 3 vehicles...no he still doesn't have a job.
He went to the courthouse to get his birth certificate and something else.
Then "on his way home" from the courthouse he stopped by Adams. I keep having to tell him that it's not on his way home if he has to go an extra 10 miles out of his way.
I really can't wait for him to get a job and back on a payroll. But in all honesty I have to admit that I like having him around more and not so stressed. But there are these lovely things called bills that have to get paid so he needs to get back to work.
We have Schmoe and Sean over watching the sadness that is the final game of the NCAA games. It's nice because Schmoe hasn't been here before and it's nice having him around. Back to work tomorrow for a 9-6 shift then the White's over for dinner. Apparently we just can't get enough of them!
Easter is this weekend and it's gonna be a busy weekend. Friday we have dinner at the Hodge's house for Good Friday. Saturday we are having my in laws over...mom, Lonnie, Monica, and Jon. It should be fun, even though I have to work till 6, but Kyle will have it under control. Then Sunday it's up and out to church at Aunt Pat's church with Mom Uribe and then out to my mom's. Lots of travel!
Well good night and farwell until tomorrow!
grr to my blog
So this blog may be the death of me...
I call my mom to talk to her about what we have done in the house and I tell her something and she's like yeah I read your blog. Apparently I have no reason to actually talk anymore.
So its my first day back to work and its a lot to get caught back up. Its nice to know that I can be relaxed about what's going on at home knowing Kyle has it under control.
I call my mom to talk to her about what we have done in the house and I tell her something and she's like yeah I read your blog. Apparently I have no reason to actually talk anymore.
So its my first day back to work and its a lot to get caught back up. Its nice to know that I can be relaxed about what's going on at home knowing Kyle has it under control.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
hmmm...
So how funny is it when you plan a romantic "special time" before bed and you end up asking for a rain check because your just so darn tired from so much work. However it was wonderful taking a shower at home in the new shower. I guess baby making will have to wait until tomorrow. Back to work I go tomorrow...how sad!
So close to being done
Okay so the upstairs bathroom is complete minus the light getting swapped out and the tub getting cleaned. SO CLOSE!!! So I finished painting the downstairs bathroom while Kyle finished the upstairs bathroom. The orange painting is complete! I don't think I have ever been so excited. So after I get done painting I decide to clean the tub out. It's gotten dirty from people stepping in it and putting in our new tub surround. It looks so much better. We have the white tile look in the tub, a new white shower curtain. We also found out that we have a heat register in the bathroom that has been covered by the vinyl for the last year so that was cut out and we put a new vent cover in. The vanity and mirror have been painted brown and the new sink and faucet are in. Anyway I got distracted...I was cleaning the tub and I wanted to clean the drain filter thingy that stops big things from going down it. So I unscrewed it and pulled the filter thingy out. As I do this the nastiest biggest hair wad comes up with it...that's not all. I then had to pull more out of the drain. So freaking nasty! And while I realize that it's mostly my hair...it doesn't matter, because God only knows what else is in that wad. So that is my wifely duty of the year. I am pretty sure that the husband was supposed to do that.
So on my vacation we did the following:
Painted my old bedroom at my moms
Met my sister's first official boyfriend
Painted the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms
Painted the vanities and mirrors
Bought and had baseboard installed
Bought a new bedroom door
Installed two new sink tops with faucets
Installed a tub surround
Got the upstairs and entry way flooring installed
Repaired and filled holes in the walls
Cleaned my car out...new and shiny looking
Went to the insurance company to talk life insurance
Went to the bank to work on my loan and met an awesome loan officer
Visited with friends and family
Was productive on our new business venture
Top Thing...pulled nasty hair wad out of drain...PRICELESS!
Now I am off to take a shower in my new shower for the first time ever...and the first shower in my own house in like a week!
Painted my old bedroom at my moms
Met my sister's first official boyfriend
Painted the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms
Painted the vanities and mirrors
Bought and had baseboard installed
Bought a new bedroom door
Installed two new sink tops with faucets
Installed a tub surround
Got the upstairs and entry way flooring installed
Repaired and filled holes in the walls
Cleaned my car out...new and shiny looking
Went to the insurance company to talk life insurance
Went to the bank to work on my loan and met an awesome loan officer
Visited with friends and family
Was productive on our new business venture
Top Thing...pulled nasty hair wad out of drain...PRICELESS!
Now I am off to take a shower in my new shower for the first time ever...and the first shower in my own house in like a week!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
