Oh what a night

Ha you probably thought this was going to be some blog about having sex or something...nope.

So last night Kyle and I were talking about our life and where it's taken us and where we have been. I have come to the realization that I am so used to my "typical" life that when anything is different I have a very hard time adjusting to it. I was so used to Matt having his normal job at Mercury with a normal paycheck every two weeks. I was used to my parents going to work for 40 hours a week and getting paid every two weeks. This was the way I was raised to believe that was normal.

Then Kyle resigns from his position at KASL...resigns sounds so much better than quit doesn't it? For the first few days it wasn't bad, actually I was quite relieved to have him done with the business. It caused a great deal of unneeded stress. Mostly from his business partner, Andrew. This was a constant issue for us because Andrew caused so much stress about things that didn't need to be streesed over. So then we weren't hearing Kyle's phone ring at all hours of the night because no one was calling him...no one was breaking stuff and then telling Kyle to fix it. It was great. But then the bills piled up and we needed to pay for them...this is when the tough part started.

I tend to be a negative person in life, so when there were bills to pay and no money come in on a regular basis I start getting stressed and worried and everything changing from what I'm used to making me uncomfortable. Kyle was bringing money into the house. He was doing computer repair for people. It just wasn't consistent, but he's been bringing in just as much money as when he had a steady regular job. It's taken me this long to realize it, but he was working. The bad wife that I am kept saying you need to get a job, you need to bring a paycheck home. When all along he had been. I was so upset when I finally realized this. It had been a month of me criticizing him about it. I can't make up for it because it's already done, but I am going to make sure I keep this in mind in the future. He is my life and I can't imagine not having him next to me.

So our communication skills got put to good use last night when we were "talking" about this. That usually leads to tears because I feel so bad about things. But it always ends with an apology from both of us, a hug, a kiss, and an I love you. Our marriage gets stronger every day and nothing will ever break it.

Love today, live today.

Jilian